Catching Up

I have had an over the top crazy year since i last posted anything. My heart has been devastated and I wanted to keep it all to myself, but all this pain would be worth nothing if I wasn't able to share and help someone else.

At the beginning of October I celebrated my 27th birthday with my grandparents and a few days later my grandpa passed away. I am heart broken and crying as I type this. He was one of the only men I have ever been able to share my life with and felt that he truly heard what i was saying.  He was extremely sick and I am glad that he is no longer in pain. My heart hurts... I am glad that I am able to say that I saw him a few days before in a good mood and that he let me know he likes me with purple hair more than black haha. 

It doesn't change that I am heart broken and a bit mad. Today I took a 3 mile walk and I was so angry at God because I know my identity is in Christ, but I don't know what that looks like. I felt that, if my identity is in Christ why cant I just do drugs and have the skinny body I had. I want the feeling of being numb to everything. I MISSS doing drugs and i know that is sooooooooo beyond crazy because it ruined my life once and it would ruin my life again, but I just want my body back, I want that control.

Then i kept repeating how God has saved me. That He redeemed me, loves me, forgives me, and I am made new in an image of a saint, (me a saint, mind blowing) and even though I sin God loves me and will never turn from me. That the pain I feel from longing to do drugs will always be there and it hurts my heart because it is sin and it hurts God's heart too. I just kept repeating these things and then it clicked!!!! I have been listening to Satan's lies about me. Even though the lies he tells me are completely untrue, I still was listening. That I am not pretty enough, that I am not together enough, that I am crazy, that my past has tainted my future. Fuck Satan for making me feel that I am any less worthy to God. 

I feel like I am at a season in my life that I am restless and lonely and its because I don't have a firm foundation in what my identity is. I feel like the things happening with the people close in my life suck so much, but its because God is teaching me how to stand up for myself and not hold back the things I have to say. I have felt that everyone else has more value than I do or that their feelings and comfort are more important, but I have just as much value as they do.

I just want you to know that your identity isn't in what other people think of you or how others make you feel. Your identity is in Christ and where ever you are, let that light shine in dark places and don't let other people or circumstances make you feel less than a redeemed.

XOXO

Casie

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CAPER 2013

Hey friends, guess what!?! Want to support my education and get AMAZING products and tools at the same time?? It is Caper time!! My only shot to go is if I sell 40 bags of awesome Paul Mitchell promotional bags that are not offered elsewhere!!

What is Caper?? An AMAZING educational opportunity for a limited number of PM students who qualify to go to 3DAYS of education from the Paul Mitchell Advanced Academy AND Professional Artistic Team!!! You have to help me get there!!! If you are not local, call or message me and we will get the bags to you! Do you want big hair? Sleek hair? Flat iron? Tea Tree? Color protection? Mens grooming? We even have one for your fur babies!! NINE bags to chose from with full size products and a great travel bag!!  Sorry if you don't live in close i wont be able to sell you them BUT please check and see if there is a Paul Mitchell school near you and help one of those students to reach their goal!

Please Help Send Me to Caper 2013!
- Casie 

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TATTOO TIME!!!

As some people may know i really like tattoos.  I am sort of a snob about them though so it took me a long time to find an artist that was really good at what i wanted to have done.  Jen Davis at Outer Limits in Orange, CA did my first tattoo on my back when i was 18, so a bazillion years later i have gone back to her to have her do my arm.  It took two sessions to have the entire thing done, so i had to walk around with it half done for like two months (not so fun).  Here is the process we went through and the finished result! Enjoy!

Lots of Love!

Casie

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first idea, i really liked the diamond

First round

FINISHED

Palm Springs and Bachelorette Parties

 Earlier this summer i went to Palm Springs for my friend Tricia's bachelorette party! It was so awesome.  We were able to stay in a fully furnished house with a beautiful pool.  It was so fun and relaxing. I always am a bit nervous when i go to things were i only know one person, but it turned out to be so awesome and i became friends with some fun girls.  If i had let my fear of not knowing anyone get in the way I wouldn't have had such an awesome time.
Reach outside your comfort zone,
Casie

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This buffalo head was quite a deal at $100 

VEGAS!!!!

I went to Vegas for the first time since being "of age" at the beginning of summer, i just forgot to blog about it.  The trip was fun, but not fun in a laugh my pants off sort of way.  It was more dramatic than would be expected.  We set off to see my friends band The Scarred play because they were starting their tour.  Things got bumpy, walls were slapped, and in the end $2 hot dogs, and $1 drinks are what saved the trip.  If you want more details about what happened you can read about it on AMP Magazine.  It was written by Tyler who was on tour with the boys. The things I learned from this trip

Gambling to save the tour

• trust your gut, if someone seems shady = they are
• pack light, its hot there
• have fun finding vegan food
• look on the bright side
• wear face primer and a ton of hairspray - you will get sweaty and your hair will look flat

Don't Gamble,

Casie

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Coastline Car Classic

This past weekend i was lucky enough to be able to hangout at the beach all weekend and look at some amazing and beautiful cars at the CDM Coastline Car Classic.  This year there was a $2,000,000 car there! I wish i had a $1,000,000.  The coolest thing was I was able to sit in the original Batmobile that Michael Keaton used in the movie!!! It was soooo awesome, but sooooooo hard to get into.  Here are some of the pictures to wet your whistle.
BEEP BEEP,
Casie

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Batmobile, Duesenberg, and Packard

Universal Studios

I went to Universal Studios recently and i haven't been there since i was 6 years old, so it was really fun to experience it all over again.  It's weird going back somewhere that you have a few memories of.  I have always wanted to work in the film and TV industry and i wonder if my trip almost 20 years ago was what instilled that idea in my head.

As I was on the back lot tour all i could think was that i want to work in a movie studio one day.  I would ideally want to be a costume designer, but if i would be happy just working in a office as an assistant.  I can't imagine wanting to work anywhere else.  I guess i would say that this is really where God wants me to be, because i haven't desired to do anything this much ever!  I don't know how i or where i will end up but all i know is that i want to work on movies.  I want to be able to be apart of something that is visually so amazing.  I took ton of pictures of the buildings they film in and it is amazing how something that looks run down and so fake can come to life.  My prayer is that God can use me to be a positive influence among many people in an industry that can sometimes be empty.

Lots of Love,

Cas

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jaws

Whoville

War of the Worlds Airplane Crash Site

Duff Energy Drink

Worlds Largest Phone